The Report Card

We recently received Bambam's first report card. To be fair, we did receive progress reports in preschool and kindergarten. But this was his first "real" report card from first grade. And WOW. Talk about depressing. The entire report card was filled with "n/a's". And I mean the entire thing, no other marks at all, just "n/a". Even though I know exactly where my child is developmentally, this still makes me take a step back, sit down, and breath deeply so I won't cry. I've said it before and I'll say it again: seeing in black and white exactly what my child cannot do is one of the worst things about being a special needs parent for me. I really don't need to be reminded, I live it every day.

This report card seems worthless to me. I'm not sure why the school even bothers to send it home, other than I'm sure it's required by some stupid administrative rule. And I'm sure his teacher likes filling it out about as much as I like receiving it. Who wants to focus on what a child cannot do?

Apparently not Bambam's teacher. Because in addition to the report card, the envelope held a letter written by her. The first sentence said: "Bambam has made steady progress since the beginning of the year." And then she listed items that he CAN do or where he has made significant progress. These are not things measured on the report card of a typical first grader. They included items such as

• Greeting peers by name and making appropriate eye contact
• Having short, appropriate give and take conversations with peers
• Reaching conclusions after hearing spoken information; expressing his conclusions
• Using a quiet voice when interacting with peers and adults
• Accepting of "now" and "later", will concentrate on work now for a reward later
• Able to spend up to 30 minutes in the classroom and remain calm with normal activity/noise level of peers
• Participating in PE and Art with his class
• Beginning to do academic activities in the classroom with an aid, or with a peer but no adult supervision (HUGE!)

There were 16 of these items. And she ended with "I am expecting great things from Bambam. He is doing wonderfully". I'm not ashamed to admit that as I read this letter, I did cry. I was crying not just for the improvements we've seen in the past 4 months (awesomeness!), but for the people that surround my son at school. People who "get him". Who celebrate his small accomplishments as much as I do. Who clearly love him for who he is, where he is, and what he has to offer. For this I am grateful everyday. 

As for the report card, they can keep that. I'm keeping the letter.