Our Kind of Inclusion

I posted the following on my facebook page during spring break:

"I'm a mom. I worry. Its what we do. And I'm really good at it. So when I dropped The Boy off at a new day camp on Tuesday, I worried all day at work. Until I picked him up, all smiles and exclaiming it was "way fun!"

But still, a little nagging part of me worries about how much more work he is for the camp leaders, how many accommodations he needs, is he participating, interacting, if he is disruptive, etc. I realize putting my special boy in "typical" activities takes extra effort on everyone's part. Yet, I am a firm believer that this is not only good for him but necessary, and that it is good for everyone else involved especially his peers. I do recognize what we are asking of others. It does take extra effort. I sometimes wonder how much I should be asking.

Today as I dropped The Boy off at camp, the leader followed me back out of the room to say and I quote "(The Boy) is awesome. We love having him, he is so much fun." It totally made my day. Guess I'm not asking too much.

Inclusion works people, it really does."

I'm a firm believer in inclusion. For obvious reasons. But I was also a firm believer even before the bonus that is The Boy arrived in our lives. Before any diagnosis or therapies or medications or special diets or IEP's or.... When the older boys were young, I believed in inclusion because I believe its just as beneficial for the "typical" kids as it is for the kids with special needs. I wanted my boys to understand that we are, each of us, a small part of the whole called humanity and all the parts are equally important. The whole cannot exist without each part. But, that is not what I started out to write about.

Its now summer, and The Boy attends day camp throughout most of the summer. This is for 2 reasons. Practically speaking, I work part time. So The Boy needs to do something for about 4-5 hours a day. But more importantly, it is our way of keeping him engaged with others. He doesn't qualify for ESY in our district (don't even get me started on this, I'll rant for hours) so we needed to come up with some way for him to continue interacting with peers, listening and following directions, taking turns, participating in group activities, etc. Skills that he needs during the school year but that can fall behind just being at home all summer. So, day camp it is.

As he gets older and progresses, and since the camps he's attended in the past have gone so well, we've been venturing into some new territory. Expanding his camp resume so to speak. And since he loves basketball, I signed him up for a basketball camp at our gym. It was just 4 days, with a small group of 4th and 5th graders. I knew it would be a stretch. When I say The Boy loves basketball, I mean he loves to shoot baskets. And he's a really good shot. He also enjoys dribbling and passing the ball. But a scrimmage or game? Well that's just a little too much for him....at least for now. Games move too fast, his processing time is slower and he struggles to keep up, gets overwhelmed, and shuts down. The result is him standing in the middle of the court not moving as the game takes place around him. He basically becomes an obstacle for the other players to avoid.

So why would I sign him up for a basketball camp you might ask. And that's a really good question. But as I said earlier, he loves basketball. And he loves our gym. And they love him. The person who runs the youth basketball program knows The Boy, his daughter and The Boy were in the same classroom for 3 years. When I talked to the program director about the possibility of including The Boy in the camp, he was all for it. And he knows what he's getting into. 

The Boy learns a lot from observing. So we figured he would do the activities he could, hopefully attempt some new ones, and watch the ones he wasn't comfortable doing. You see, as far as I'm concerned, sometimes inclusions looks like all the kids doing the same activity. And sometimes it looks like a child doing a slightly modified activity. And sometimes it looks like a child watching his peers doing an activity he's not quite ready to participate in. And all of that is OK. It's not exclusion if the child is the one choosing not to participate in a particular activity. He gets just as much out of watching and learning and cheering for his peers as they scrimmage. 

And maybe someday he'll be ready to be part of the scrimmage. Whether he is or not is totally up to him. It does not matter to me if he ever plays in a scrimmage or a game. But as long as he wants to, I will continue to give him opportunities to learn and grow and try. Because as my Dad told me growing up "How do you know that you can't unless you try. Again and again and again."