The Gym, A Girl, & Inclusion

The Boy and I were walking through the health club yesterday. I was going to a class, he was going to the playroom. Ah, the playroom. Intended for the youngest of members, those under 8 years old. The Boy, now 9, still goes in the playroom. I don't dare leave him unsupervised, wreaking havoc all over the gym. And they graciously let him continue to come in and play. All of the gym employees know him, have for years. And they understand. It sometimes is a little awkward when I go to pick him up and the other moms are picking up kids who are literally half his size. Not kidding, he's a very tall 9 year old. Sometimes we get some weird looks from the other moms. But whatever, I no longer let these silly little things bother me. My boy loves the playroom and has fun. And the playroom supervisors enjoy having him. In fact, one has become our trusted kid sitter. (I believe in using sitters who know what they are signing up for and are familiar to The Boy)

Anyway, back to my story. As we were walking through the gym to the playroom, a girl who looked to be about his age said "hi (The Boys name)". He turned to her and said "hi (The Boy's name)" right back to her. His focus was getting to the play room where he could play with all the toys. I assumed he was just echoing her greeting without paying much attention. And he went right back to obsessing over the toys in the playroom, his interaction done.

So I struck up a conversation with her. I asked her how she knew The Boy. She goes to his school. I asked her if she was in his (GenEd) class. She said no, she was in second grade. (He's in third.) This puzzled me a little so I asked her how she new The Boy. With a big grin she replied "oh, I see him around school and sometimes we play together at recess." 

And I nearly stopped in my tracks.

Here is a kid who is not in his class, has no "formal" interaction with him, and yet she sometimes plays with him at recess. Presumably unprompted, on her own. I'll be honest here, my heart nearly exploded on the spot. I worry ALL THE TIME about how The Boy integrates into the general population at his school. Do they accept him? Does he socialize with them? Is he comfortable interacting with them? Are they comfortable interacting with him? Is he developing relationships? Does he have friends? And on and on.

I think about these things all the time. Because in the end, our goal for the The Boy is to live a full, productive adult life with a job and social life out in the community. What form this takes, well we don't know yet, but that is the general goal. And how can he reach that goal if we don't start now with interactions with his typical peers. Encouraging social interactions from both sides. Encouraging him to be part of the community now, his community at school as well as the community at large. Developing relationships. Encouraging inclusion, acceptance, understanding on all parts. And more importantly, everyone enjoying those interactions and relationships.

Exchanges like the one I had with that young lady truly encourage me. Seriously, my heart was singing. It was so full of peace and love and hope. I wanted to hug her, but didn't want to scare her. 

I know, I know, its a far cry from an elementary school to the adult community at large (or even the high school). I don't completely live in a Pollyanna world. I know that we have a very long road to travel. But its a start in the right direction. And I'll take my encouragement where ever I can find it.

Oh, and the girl's name? Turns out it is the same as The Boy's. He wasn't echoing, he was really saying hi to her. 

Runners

I am a runner. I am not fast. I struggle with distances. But still, I lace up my shoes and I go out and pound the pavement. That makes me a runner. Anyone who goes out there and puts one foot in front of the other is a runner. As the saying goes "I've never seen a fake runner."

I started running in college. I ran because my roommate did and she invited me along. So, I ran for "girl time". I ran to help alleviate stress. I ran to help clear my head. I ran to make studying easier. I ran to stay in shape as I was no longer involved with competitive sports. I ran so I could eat the pizza (and drink the beer) and still fit in my clothes. And I fell in love with running.

I've been running now for over 25 years. (Holy cow, that is hard to write) I've run numerous 5ks, and 10ks, and my share of half marathons. And I still love it. I love running by other runners and getting the wave, or the smile, or the nod. Runners know what I'm talking about. The running community is like no other. It is full of encouragement and compassion and understanding. I will never forget the time I was running in a very big relay race and a runner from one of the elite teams passed me. As he passed by he said "You're doing great. Keep it up." A guy  who could run circles around me took the time to encourage me. It was awesome.

I find encouragement in the elite runners, like most people do. There ability to float across the landscape almost effortlessly with their zero percent body fat machines is awe inspiring. I watch the Ironman every year on TV and then I go pound the pavement that much harder. I realize I will never be them, but I sure like trying.

I am also inspired by the beginner runners. The ones who are not in shape, who don't have zero percent body fat, the ones who don't look like runners. And I want to encourage them. When I'm driving Bambam around and I see an overweight person struggling to run down the street, I want to roll down the window and yell encouragement to them, "You're doing great. Keep it up." But in all honesty, I hesitate. I hesitate because I am afraid they won't think I'm sincere. That maybe I'm teasing them. And that is the last thing I ever want. Its hard to get off that couch and take the first step. But they've done it. And I find that inspirational, just like the elite runners. For different reasons, but inspirational just the same. Everyone who goes out there and puts one foot in front of the other, over and over again, is a runner.

The Look

We were back at the fun house this past weekend. And it was First Friday. Which means that downtown is packed with a festive environment of sidewalk musicians, art, vendors, beer and wine tasting, and all the quaint stores are open late. It also means crowds and noise and chaos.

But, since Bambam has been doing so many great things lately, we thought we would try it. First up was pizza by the slice from the hole in the wall pizza joint that we like. Bambam loves their pizza and we usually get it when we go downtown. But its not usually this crowded. As soon as we entered, he stopped in his tracks and grew tense. He had told me right before entering that he needed to use the bathroom. So, even though he said immediately upon entering that he wanted to "go back outside" I made him go use the bathroom first. I barely had his shorts back up before he bolted out the bathroom door and made a beeline outside. No way was he staying or going back inside that crowded place.

On my way chasing him outside, I spotted a mom pushing a special stoller with a 7 or 8 year old girl in it. She caught my eye, she smiled at me as I chased Bambam out the door as he's yelling "go outside now, go outside NOW". And I knew, she knew. She was "our kind". With no words her look and smile encouraged me. She let me know that she understood, I was not alone. We were doing OK. A thousand words and thoughts were exchanged in that silence. And I smiled back hoping to convey to her what she had given me in that brief, silent exchange.