Just Ask

For the past 10 years our family has been attending and participating in a huge sports festival at the fun house. It all started 10 years ago, before we even owned the fun house. At that time my running partner and I decided to run a half marathon. So we went looking for one and found this one. We signed up and began to train.

When we arrived at the resort location of the run, we discovered that it was way more than just a half and full marathon run. It was an entire 3 day sports event including 3 different events for kids, the half and full marathons, long course and Olympic duathlons and triathlons, and a 10k and 5k. There was an extensive sports expo, booths and food and music and loads of fun.

We immediately signed our kids up for the kids triathlon called the "splash, pedal n dash". It was a fun event where the kids climbed through an inflatable obstacle course, ran through 2 kiddie pools (the splash), rode their bikes for 1/2mike (the pedal), then ran 1/4 mile (the dash) to cross the same finish line as all the other athletes. It was complete with timing chips, finisher medals, and official results. The older boys loved it.

We bought the fun house the next year and this sports event weekend became an annual tradition. I've run the half marathon, 10k and 5k at different times over the years. Mr. Fix it has done the 5k or 10k. The older boys did the splash, pedal, dash until they aged out at 13. Then they ran the 5k a few times before moving on to the duathlon.

Bambam has grown up watching everyone participate in races at this event. Except him. Last year he starting asking about racing himself. But with the crowds and the loud music and the MC and the cheering all along the routes, we were not convinced he would actually do it. Its been hard enough for him to just be at the finish line to watch family members cross. With his sensory issues, this takes everything he has.

But he kept asking to run a race. So, with nothing to loose, I emailed the organizers of the event and asked if they would consider a special needs division in any of the kids events. I explained that as a family we had been participating for the past 10 years and that now our 8 year old autistic son was asking if he could race too.

I really didn't expect much but thought I could plant a seed. Well, I got an immediate response which said that they didn't have time to consider a special needs division for this year, but what would it take for Bambam to be able to participate. I was pleasantly shocked. What followed was a series of emails and phone calls which resulted in a plan of accommodations we thought just might work.

I've learned many things from my special boy. One is that asking often leads to positive results. And even if it doesn't, you are no worse off than before you asked, what is there to loose? Speak up. Ask for what you or your loved one needs. I've found that more often than not people, organizations, businesses are more than happy to make reasonable accommodations. And for that I am thankful. So hats off to the sporting event that helped my son participate in his first race.

What's his thing?

I don't know about the rest of the autism parents out there, but whenever I'm in public and my son's diagnosis comes up I'm frequently asked some version of the "what is his thing" question. Um...his thing? Oh, you know, does he count cards, know what day of the week any date was, play Mozart by ear? His special skill?

It is a very common layperson's perspective that autistic people have a special skill, known as Savant Syndrome. In actuality, only 1-10% of the autistic population also have Savant Syndrome. My son is not one of them. In fact, in most academic areas he falls about 2 years behind his peers. And he has no musical ability that we've seen. In fact, he didn't even start singing until just this past year. He has exactly 3 songs in his repertoire: Happy Birthday, Old McDonald, and Baba Black Sheep. So no, we've seen no sign of Savant Syndrome.

I bring this up because the other day I heard the very best question about this subject. Bambam participates in an adaptive sports program called STAR Sports. I've written about the program several times. It is wonderful. It was developed by a college student (we'll call her A) and is run completely by A and a group of volunteer students. They are amazing. And Bambam loves it. 

Bambam is extremely athletic, which is sort of amazing considering he didn't walk until he was almost 2. But now, at the age of 7, that child is really an amazing athlete. Any sport with a ball is second nature to him. I've actually seen him kick a football through a basketball hoop. More than once. On purpose. He can beat anyone at a game of horse on the basketball court. His first time on the golf course, at the age of 6, he drove the ball to the green on his first par 3 shot. Seriously, people stop to watch. So its no surprise that he sort of shines at STAR sports, which is focusing on soccer right now. 

At the first fall session, A's parents had come from out of town to see the program she had developed. They sat next to me and they were so proud, as they should be. A is a wonderful, caring young lady. She is going to take the world by storm. I had a great conversation with her parents. And as I was talking to them, this took place:

A's parents: Is that your son out there in the green shirt?

Me: Yes, that's Bambam.

A's parents: How old is he?

Me: He's 7.

A's parents: Wow, he's big. I thought he was 10. And he's so athletic. His eye/hand coordination is incredible. Do you mind if I ask what his diagnosis is?

Me: Oh, no. He's autistic. And yes, he is big. And athletic.

A's parents: Is that his special skill, athletics?

And that's when I couldn't help laughing out loud. But I decided that I was going to just go with it. Why yes, his Savant Skill is athleticism. We've finally found it. 

I love it. From now on when I get the "what's his thing" question, I'm going to answer athletics. Just go with it people.